The Sticky Bottle Team received a few comments regarding our post “James Bond Never Road a Bike.” Folks appreciated the information we provided of Bond’s creator Ian Fleming but they wanted to know where we stand on the movies. What is our favorite Bond movie? What did we think of Skyfall? We will address the latter question first. We feel Skyfall is a top ten Bond movie. The SBT crew ranks the scenes in Scotland on par with any Bond movie on-location action in the past 50 years. We also felt with Bond’s home and the home of MI6 being London we very much enjoyed the action taking place in the city. We loved Javier Bardem as the bad guy but only wish he was introduced earlier in the film; we would have enjoyed seeing more of his character.
Now, as far as our favorite Bond movies… We have ranked the top five, the next five and then the rest--and of course, the five worst Bond movies.
And so we begin. The number one Bond movie of all time is Thunderball. We love the Caribbean setting and the quartet of Bond girls are some of the best in the series (portrayed by Luciana Paluzzi, Claudine Auger, Molly Peters, and Martine Beswick). Emilio Largo, played by Adolfo Celi, is an excellent villain with the white hair, eye patch, and requisite cadre of evil underlings. The yacht Disco Volante, the underwater scenes, and the Junkanoo Festival are superb. Rik Van Nutter is solid as Felix Leiter. The box office doesn’t lie and if adjusted for inflation, Thunderball would be the highest grossing bond film of all time; it still leads in the sheer number of tickets sold.
The rest of the Top Five:
#2. For Your Eyes Only. This movie begins with a tender tribute to Bond’s late wife followed by the final disposition of the villain Blofeld (man in wheelchair). Carole Bouquet is a worthy ally of Bond as Melina. Julian Glover is another fine actor in the lead villain role and Topol, playing the good guy Milos Columbo is a fun character. The scenes in Italy take full advantage of the Olympic sites in Cortina d”Ampezzo. Bond makes use of the downhill slope, the ski jumps, and even the bobsled run on a desperate dash to stay alive. The biathlon course and hockey rink also see action. This movie also has some fine underwater action and the plot is a plausible Cold War covert operation.
#3. Casino Royale. James Bond returns from the doldrums of the Peirce Brosnan era. Daniel Craig is immediately accepted as 007 in the opening credits sequence which is quickly followed by a great theme by Chris Cornell. Mads Mikkelson is excellent as Le Chiffe and Eva Green is a stunning beauty and brilliant actress. The train ride and the poker game scenes are magnificent theatre.
#4. From Russia with Love. The second Bond film is a true detective movie and Bond uses his wits and cunning to stop SPECTRE. Robert Shaw is genuinely frightening as Red Grant and Bond has a true ally in Kerim Bey portrayed by Pedro Armendariz who steals every scene. The short, all business Rosa Klebb is a fantastic villainess.
#5. Octopussy. This is the Bond movie with maybe the most complex story line with another solid Cold War plot. The tuk-tuk taxi scene is a pure Bond adventure as is the fighting on-board the train. The movie’s fast pace from London to India to Germany and back to India keeps the action alive. A true Bond movie circles the globe and Octopussy succeeds. The backgammon scene highlights the playfulness of Roger Moore and the ruthlessness of Kamal Kahn (an excellent Louis Jourdan).
The next five, with comments both good and bad:
6. Skyfall.
7. A View to a Kill leads off with a great ski chase right into the excellent Duran Duran theme. Christopher Walken as bad guy Max Zorin is superb as is loyal 007 friend Patrick Macnee as Sir Godfrey. The movie is helped with the scenes set in France and San Francisco. Tanya Roberts and Fiona Fullerton are not believable in their roles.
8. Dr. No (pictured) is saved by Joseph Wiseman as the lead character. A young Jack Lord as Felix Leiter is very well done. The Ursula Andress bikini scene is motion picture history. The dragon tank is silly and the plot is wobbly.
9. Live and Let Die makes full use of the 1970s “Blaxploitation” film genre. The movie hits its stride in New Orleans with the boat chase scene highlighted by Sherriff J.W. Pepper. The bad guys of Dr. Kananga, Tee Hee, and Whisper are excellent. Paul McCartney’s theme song is the best in the series.
10. Moonraker is everything fans want in a Bond movie: excellent sets, locations, and action. Michael Lonsdale is perfect as Hugo Drax and the return of Jaws is welcome. Lois Chiles is disappointing as Dr. Goodhead and the laser beam battle scenes are hard to watch as is the gondola ride through St. Mark’s Square.
The Good--but Not Our Favorites--list:
11. Tomorrow Never Dies works well because of the cool evil of Elliott Carver (played by Jonathan Price), Stamper (Gotz Otto) and Dr. Kaufman (Vincet Sciavelli). Teri Hatcher is beautiful as Paris Carver. The BMW motorcycle race through Saigon is great action. The stealth ship is very cool but the metal-toothed torpedo is silly.
12. Diamonds Are Forever is solid. Vegas Baby, enough said. But the film also succeeds with the evil duo of Wint and Kidd, the stylish Ford Mustang Mach I, and Jill St. John’s scantily clad Tiffany Case character. The film suffers from poor special effects, a rather bland Blofeld, and the SBT crew cheers at the demise of the flimsy Shady Tree played by Leonard Barr. Sean Connery seems to be a bit too old for the film.
13. The Living Daylights is a good debut for Timothy Dalton. He is an accomplished actor and more than able to bring a serious and dangerous tone to 007. Joroen Krabbe and Joe Don Baker are terrible.
14. License to Kill offers the largest role to date for Q and fans are happy to see more of Desmond Llewelyn. Robert Davi and a very young Benicio Del Toro are great villains. This film suffers with another poor performance by the lead female, this time Carey Lowell.
15. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service offers a scary Telly Savalas as Blofeld and a great alpine setting. The Angels of Death are all beautiful of course. Another wobbly script, it seems Blofeld’s demands were simple: restore his standing as a Count. Australian George Lazenby tries but he is not James Bond although he does deliver one of the best lines in the series when he is asked to explain some uncomfortable behavior at the dinner table (a woman writes her room number on his thigh with lipstick) he merely suggests it’s a “ slight stiffness coming on.”
16. Goldeneye is a good movie in that it returned Bond to the silver screen after nearly seven years since License to Kill. Izabella Scorupco and Famke Janssen are good Bond girls. The tank scenes through St. Petersburg and stunt work help save the movie from the disappointing work of Alan Cummings and Gottfried John’s characters.
17. The World is Not Enough is highlighted by the sheer beauty of Sophie Marceau as Elektra King combined with a real mean streak. Denise Richards is just not good as Dr. Christmas Jones. The opening boat chase with the alluring “Cigar Girl” leaves you wanting more.
18. Quantum of Solace is hard to watch save for the absolute beauty of Olga Kurylenko and Craig’s intense acting ability. This movie comes very close to the bottom five. The plot is a meandering globe-trotting misadventure.
The Bottom Five:
#19. Goldfinger. For most of the movie Bond is held captive by Goldfinger. It is slow-paced and the final scenes are silly and completely unbelievable. Most Bond books and movies have incredible yet plausible plots but Goldfinger goes too far. The golf match shows Sean Connery’s wit and charisma but the rest of the film is boring.
#20. You Only Live Twice. This film suffers from very bad special effects and has a similar to Goldfinger “that-can-never-happen” plot. Donald Pleasance may be the worst Blofeld and Karin Dor is just not very good as Helga. Bond’s transformation from 007 to ninja is funny rather than serious.
#21. Die Another Day. Just a bad movie from start to finish. The invisible car and Madonna as a fencing instructor says it all; bad, bad, bad.
#22. The Man with the Golden Gun. The 1970s are to blame for this poor movie. Bond wears a leisure suit and drives a horrible motor vehicle--the instantly forgettable AMC Hornet. Sheriff Pepper’s scenes are too far-fetched (a southern sheriff vacationing in Thailand?) and Bond’s allies of Lt. Hip and Mary Goodnight are poorly executed, especially Britt Eklund. The only thing that keeps this film from being the worst is the excellent villain Francisco Scaramanga by Christopher Lee.
The Spy Who Loved Me is the worst Bond movie of all time. Curt Jurgens is a sad villain, boring actually and Barbara Bach’s poor acting skills and fake Russian accent are just too much to bear. The underwater Lotus scenes are silly and the lair of Stromberg is ridiculous. Even the music is bad with Marvin Hamlisch’s score a bit too synthesized. Carly Simon who gave the world the outstanding “You’re so Vain” was less successful with “Nobody Does it Better.” The pre-credits sequence is even lackluster starting with the music and ending with Bond pulling on a full-body yellow with red piping snow suit that is a hideous fashion nightmare and dare we say, effeminate.
So, there you have it dear readers, the SBT crew’s definitive list of Bond movies. What do you think? Let us know your choices, send a comment. We have set up a survey here: Click this link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NLBLXR7. We will post the results soon.
Visit our website www.stickybottleteam.net for the Thunderball trailer. Click on VIDEOS.
Visit our website www.stickybottleteam.net for the Thunderball trailer. Click on VIDEOS.
We have also been asked that if Bond did ride a bike in a movie what machine would 007 prefer. The SBT crew feels that deserves some research and thought. We will answer that question in a future blog posting.
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